Desire, Destination and a Next Step (part one)
I feel itchy.
Not the kind of itch that sits on your skin, annoyingly begging to be scratched. It’s the kind of itch that is present just enough to make you feel uncomfortable. It’s invisible, so scratching it is almost impossible. It’s uncomfortable enough to keep my attention, to keep me feeling discontent enough to not forget the itch. I long for it to be gone. To soothe the discontent. I just can’t seem to find the right salve. But I know the discontent is a symptom of the deeper dis-ease of desire. My soul is hungry for change. I just don’t know what change that is….
It's been awhile....
That’s an understatement.
Life has evolved and morphed in so many ways. Both good ways and challenging ways and I’ve been learning to settle in to a new norm, a new pattern, a new dynamic.
What do you do when you're disappointed with God?
But when that tipping point slipped back over into oblivion, my belief, my confidence, my dreams, and my faith slipped with it.
I had honestly thought things were changing, that the sacrifice was about to pay off and God was opening doors and moving us into a new season of influence for his kingdom. Instead, we were shoved back into oblivion.
And that shove took its toll.
What do you do when you’re disappointed with God?
Lesson Two: Who am I to think I can improve on the execution of God’s plan?
God’s call or request is not a suggestion. It is not up for discussion. God doesn’t need your two cents. What God needs, is your action. Your willingness to go when He calls you. Your willingness to be interrupted. Your willingness to acknowledge your life is part of a greater narrative being worked out and your willingness to follow God’s call is critical to how God expresses His love in the world.
Lesson One: Who Am I To Think I can Improve The Timing Of God?
I naively (and unconsciously) thought that I could improve on the timing of God when in reality what I was doing was stalling. I was procrastinating. I held off because I had to check that Graeme was there. When in actual fact I wasn’t willing to allow God to disrupt me in that moment.
I found a Seashell
If you’ve clicked on this post, then you too must be an ocean lover because the title of this blog is not very compelling. But it’s important. It’s really important.
The Language of Lament - Part Two
I am drawn to the image of a God who, in all cases of lamenting, listened. He sat and listened. He waited and listened. He did not rush to heal. He did not rush to repair. He did not rush to reconcile. He listened to the lamenting. And so should we.
The Language of Lament - Part One.
Last night, the news headlines were all about the riots in Minnesota, the pain of the African American people, and the death of George Floyd. A google search this morning of “National Reconciliation Week” on the first few pages returns no results from any major News outlets here in Australia.
Instead, their websites are filled with news from America and I’m left wondering…
Why are the cries of America louder than the original custodians of the land we now call Australia?
Freedom Found In Restriction
Who would have thought that when freedom is restricted, the world actually thrives? Not us humans, that’s for sure. But I imagine God does, given it was the very thing he did to create the world. God himself had to contract in order to create space for the creation to exist. It’s a Hebrew term called Zimzum. A restriction or contraction of freedom in order for something else to thrive.
A Response To Covid-19
There is a lot of information swirling, much like the steam from my coffee, about Covid-19. There is no denying it’s presence. Some of the information is helpful, some of it is not. And I won’t deny that I have been judgemental towards some people’s response to the information that we are being fed. I have been surprised at the way we so quickly defaulted to a “every man for himself” after the unifying experience of the bushfires. How quickly we can turn on each other.
I Tried To Give A Homeless Man A Sandwich
If I had stopped to ask the people who know him better than I do, would I have avoided potentially making Graeme feel awkward?
Lots of “what if’s”.
And whilst those questions are good, I’ll never know the answer to them, I can’t go back in time and change my decisions.
But I can’t help shake this feeling that God orchestrated this whole thing not for Graeme’s benefit, but for mine.
Is Loneliness A Sin?
“If the Garden of Eden is a representation of heaven-“
“Is it?” The Senior Pastor asked.
“Isn’t it?” I replied.
“Is the Garden of Eden a real thing?”
“Good question, but maybe a discussion for another time and potentially the ultimate answer to the question I’m about to ask, but let’s say Eden is real. My question is, if Eden was real and is a representation of Heaven, being in ehad - oneness with God - then will loneliness exist in heaven because it existed in Eden?”
Cultivating Courage
The more my friend and I pondered this notion of courage being something that is cultivated, the more we realised how connected to faith it was. Our courage matches the amount of Faith we have. If we look at Peter walking on the water, we can see that his big faith resulted in big courage which resulted in an experience no one else has had to date. This thought immediately leads me to question what areas in my life is my faith so small that I am missing out on seeing, doing, experiencing something truly amazing? In what ways am I limiting myself because I’m too afraid of what people might say or do? How am I limiting God and the freedom I give him to direct my steps and call me out onto the water, activating deeper courage?
Feel The Fear...
“Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Every time I read this phrase or say it out loud I envisage a breath being drawn in and then exhaled right where the word “and” appears. It’s as though this word is the turning point. Things change, right there, in “…and….”.